How to deal with a negative person.

So, you're not sure how to deal with negative people. But the odds are we are going to encounter negative people in every aspect of our lives. Our work, our social life.. or (take a sip of water so you can spit out in disgust), maybe the negative person in your life is you...

So how can I help you deal with the negative people? Well I can't. Short of assassinating these people (Bare Kind doesn't offer that service yet), those people are yours to deal with.

Here is how I deal with negative people in my life, maybe some of this could help you.

1. Not well. 

That's right, I'm terrible at dealing with negative people. They stress me out, they make me feel miserable, and then I realise that I'm being negative about the negative people and therefore in that moment, I am a negative person.

So why listen to me? Well if the above resonates with you, read on and find out how I go through the motions of talking myself back into positive Lucy. 

"Check yourself before you wreck yourself"

2. Take a minute

If I know I'm going to react badly to something I have just heard, read or witnessed, I try to give myself a minute to process before I react. I believe in colloquial terms this is referred to as check yourself before you wreck yourself.

3. Understand the source 

Where is the negativity coming from - our natural cave woman instinct tells us that there is a threat in front of us, but 9 times out of 10 that person isn't trying to harm us. They might be having a really bad day, and negativity is pouring out of them, you are just collateral damage at that stage, try not to take it personally. 

4. I reiterate - understand the source

If this is a stranger, their opinion shouldn't matter (easier said than done, but try to brush this one off), there's a reason trolls on the internet are called trolls, they should go back under the bridge and stay there. 

"Watch out for toxic wastemen"

However if this is someone you know well, and this is a common occurrence, it would be wise to reevaluate your relationship with them - are they doing what's best for you or are they displaying toxic behaviours? Watch out for toxic wastemen. 

5. Take away the relevant points

Someone may have genuinely good advice for you, but have packaged it up in a negative way (They need to learn the value of constructive feedback). Try and listen to the points they are making without going on the defence, there might be something you can learn. Plus if the person genuinely is a bit of a hater, the best way to deal with them is to prove them wrong.

Recently, writing has helped me to evaluate situations and learn how I can improve myself. I am learning to grow, I am learning how to deal with negative people. 

So if you can learn with me, the more the merrier - drop me an email or a DM on instagram if you have your own tips for how to deal with negative people.

Lucy

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